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Let Go
By Avril Lavigne
HAHA! Yeah right, I wouldn't be caught dead listening to this crap
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I hate Avril Lavigne.
It's not so much that I hate her it's just that...Okay, that's a lie, I do hate her. Or rather, what I know about her. I'm sure she's a great person...Okay, that's an assumption, no doubt she's just a big a loser as I perceive. I don't know how she ever got to be famous when she's a no-talent hack who sounds like a cow being hit by a train while talented musicians and singers struggle to find a career outside of cheap bar gigs. You know what it is? Her look. It has to be. And it's not even a good look. She just looks angry and...pink. No, that's not a typo for "punk" because she changed her look (which wasn't all that punk to begin with). She likes stupid little girly pink things now. Pink skulls. I dunno, she's fucking stupid! And she's brainwashing today's youth into dressing like her and that being a no-talent hack is totally acceptable, so long as you can smile like an angry bitch and shout into a microphone.
She might be okay if she didn't write her own music. And I'm not even sure she does. Her lyrics are mostly nursery rhyming crap. I mean, check out this great example of prose from her hit single "Happy Ending":
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
Wow, she ran out of words that rhymed with "dead" so she used "dead" again! Simply genius. How about "head" you retard? Anything! Or red, like the blood from your slit wrists, you emo cutter! I bet she's really proud of that shit, too. No, wait...it gets better:
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the stuff that you do
Wow. Stuff. That's so deep. Granted, that is a radio edit, replacing "shit" with "stuff" but it still applies. Things and stuff is the same as crap and shit. Time to bust out the thesaurus and learn a few things, Avril, like a vocabulary. I mean, that's the same song. There's no excuse for that junk. Did she write that between stops on the tour bus? After a few drinks? And a hammer to the head?
And where would she be without her signature lyric of "Yeah, yeah, yeeeeeeaaah!"? She might have to sit down and write an actual song instead of filling the gaps between verses with random noise. The same kind of noise I made when I didn't know the lyrics singing a Rock Band song and I was drunk! And I still got a decent score. Take that one song of hers...I'm With You, I think it's called. This is her best song. Yeah, it sucks. I compare it to My Immortal by Evanescence, which is really, really unfair but it's the same...I dunno...kind of song, I guess. Slow and about as deep as Avril can get. Never in My Immortal does Amy Lee scream "YEAH!" into the mic. She puts a lot of emotion into the lyrics, which were obviously written with a lot of time and thought. You can hear that she means what she's singing, that it's sincere. I'm With You? Ha. Near the end, she sings half a verse and then just belts "yeah, yeah, yeah" until the band tries to drown her out. She makes up for it a bit when she finally calms down in the end and just sings normally. But she already killed the song when she began her career.
And she's got products to endorse now. Like that camera. I hate that commercial. "Where do I find inspiration?" The dumpster, apparently. It's certainly not in the pink sequined guitar you pretend to play. And that other one where she pulls a bunch of random pink crap out of a box and dances around with it. No. No one believes you're "playful." You're just an angry little girl who got lucky in life and landed on a record deal. Stop trying to fool the tweens, you're just a no-talent hack. Get off my radio and surrender your Canadian citizenship. Then kill yourself.
I feel bad for today's youth. When they grow up, they'll look back at the music they listened to and Avril Lavigne will be there. I have Matchbox 20. Had I been born a few years later and a few IQ points lower, I might have been sucked into this charade of "music." And the worst part about it? Her fans believe she is good. It's like a cult. Like...Christianity or something. It's ridiculous.
"Nocturne doesn't like me! Boo hoo!"
Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention how ugly she is.
~N°©†u®n€
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| | Posted 4/16/2009 11:02 AM - 542 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
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